


beyond the point of no return

by SalazarTipton



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Disabled Character, Identity Reveal, M/M, No beta we die like mne, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, memory flashes inspired by the og show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:54:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalazarTipton/pseuds/SalazarTipton
Summary: When Alex finally falls back into Michael's bed it feels like he's dreaming. No matter how hard he tries to steel himself and call things what they are, he can't help the emotions swirling through them. Unfortunately a flash, sharing their memories, makes Alex ask questions he hoped he'd never have to answer.





	beyond the point of no return

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is mostly just smut. the talk [tm] will be in the next one. enjoy!

“Close your eyes,” Michael whispers into Alex’s ear before nipping at the lobe. He can’t bring himself to do anything aside from what he asks of him. His lids flutter shut as he lets himself relax into Michael’s touch, taking in everything he has to give him.

Michael’s hand move from his hips across his stomach sending a crackling of electric focus in their wake all the while his mouth moves lower down his neck. Alex thinks he’s paying attention to his ministrations, but he can’t recall his jeans ever being unfastened and yet they’re being tugged down to his knees. Wait, aren’t Michael’s hands gripping his hips? He goes to open his eyes.

“Tsk, tsk. If you’re able to think this hard right now I’m clearly not doing my job right,” Michael says. He lifts himself off of Alex only to shimmy down his body until his knees hit the trailer floor. Alex looks down at him, panting at the sight. Michael licks his lips, parting them slightly when he looks up through his lashes to meet his gaze. His pupils are wide and dark with want. His eyes stay on him as his hands trace up his exposed inner thighs--nails lightly scratching at the sensitive skin.

“Trust me, you’ve got my full attention,” Alex says, his words breathy.

Michael bends his head down and traces over the lines from his nails with his mouth. “Good.”

Alex’s breath stutters with each unexpected touch grazing, kissing, and pinching over him. Alex lets his eyes fall closed again so he can just take in Michael’s teasing. He’d call it playful, but the fire burning in his focus is far too determined for that. It’s like he’s determined to whittle Alex down into a writhing mess of feeling and pleasure, like Michael’s goal is to simultaneously make up for the years while also reminding Alex of what he’s been missing. And it’s working.

When Michael’s lips finally brush over the tip of his cock, he can’t help the keening moan that slips past his lips. Michael takes hold of Alex’s hips with both hands and oh-so-slowly guides his mouth down around him until he’s fully engulfed with the tip brushing against the back of his throat. Alex chokes out a gasp, but Michael gives him no leeway to recover in. His pulls back up and swallows him down again with a fervor.

So much time has passed them by since their first night together out in the desert in the bed of Michael’s truck. They’ve both hardened in some places and grown soft in others; gained scars and lost parts of themselves in more ways than just their bodies and their youth, but they still fit together and know just how to press, to play each other with the nearly-forgotten muscle memory after picking up an instrument not forgotten, but definitely out of sight.

Michael’s fingers can strum the perfect series of chords and notes out of Alex pulling him along in a song of pleasure and need he can’t help but follow. His touch is rough from his work-hardened hands, but the feeling behind it is gentle and caring as if Alex’s is something he finds precious and worth taking care with. The thought makes his eyes sting. In his years away from Roswell and this..this devotion Michael gives without a second thought haven’t been gentle or caring with him; they’ve torn him apart in ways he didn’t know could happen and nothing ever fit back inside him the same way again. Alex didn’t know until now that Michael’s hands on his are like water to his heart. How could he have gone so long without this?

Alex tightens his grip on Michael’s curls and pulls him up off of his dick. He gasps in air, eyes flitting to Alex’s asking what he’s doing. Instead of saying anything, Alex sits up and bends until he can get his mouth on Michael’s red, plush lips dripping with drool and precum. It’s not suave and romantic--that’s never been them. It’s raw and a little too real and wholly _them_.

Michael sits up a little more to reach him better and reduce the strain on his neck from their current position. His hands skate up his sides until he wraps them around Alex’s shoulders and hugs him close until their torsos are flush together. Letting Alex take the reins, he parts his lips letting a tongue slip inside to taste the mixture of their fluids. Alex cups the back of his head in one hand and turns him just how he wants, kissing him within an inch of his life. His movements are precise and searing. Michael’s knees are aching for him to get up, but he doesn’t care. All he wants is whatever Alex is willing to take from him and it’s all he’s allowing himself to ask for.

“Get up,” Alex says as he leans away just enough to rest their foreheads together. Michael sneaks a quick kiss from him before obliging. He gets up off of his knees and stands, looking down at Alex with a light ghost of a smile.

Alex reaches out to cup him over his jeans keeping his eyes on Michael’s. He bites at him lip to stop from letting something come out he’ll regret in the morning like begging to be touched. When Alex flips open his belt buckle, a curse does slip past despite his best efforts. A smug smirk spreads over Alex’s mouth like watching Michael lose control is his true aim.

“Have I got your full attention?” Alex mocks him.

“Cock tease,” he says in a breathy laugh.

He’s rewarded for his remark by Alex yanking down his zipper and quickly shucking his jeans down to his knees. Immediately he can feel Alex;s breath fanning out over his bare thighs and his erection. A shiver runs through the length of him when those warm eyes flit forward to size him up. He doesn’t squirm under his gaze.

Michael stays still, watching as Alex strokes a hand up his knee, quad, and around his hip giving a reassuring squeeze before finally gripping around his dick. He throws out a hand to brace himself against the upper storage cabinets with Alex with a light and soft touch, grazes his thumb over the precome collecting at the slit and swirls it around the head. His hips twitch forward eliciting a bright smile from Alex.

“What, don’t wanna be patient, Guerin?”

“I think a decade is long enough, don’t you?” All the joking leaves his tone in place of his neediness. It has been ten long years missing the man in front of him and it feels like one more second waiting to be close again, in his arms and feeling safe for once will make him explode.

Alex gives him that. He doesn’t want to wait for this any longer either, but he does want to savor every single bit of Michael he can have in this moment. He leans forward, taking him into his mouth by just the head and mimics with his tongue what he did with his hand. The hand that isn’t keeping Michael upright curls around the side of Alex’s jaw and his neck. As he pulls him further into his mouth he feels his jaw opening to take him in.

His mind goes blank. Instead of thoughts whirling around about what this is and who they’ve become, all Michael can focus on is the heat of his mouth and the stubble scratching against his palm. When Alex loosens his jaw a little more and tilts his head back, he takes the invitation to move his hips to pair with his bobbing motion--gently fucking into his mouth. He keeps his heavy-lidded eyes on Alex’s face: his eyes flicking up occasionally to catch his, his cheeks hollowing out before Michael pushes himself back in, his plump, pink lips stretching around his girth and slick with their fluids. Michael brushes his thumb over his bottom lip.

Their rhythm picks up until Michael feels his knees try and give out under the onslaught of pleasure building all through him. Alex’s hand curls around his quad when it quivers from the strain and plunges himself down on his cock and stops when it slams into the back of his throat. He stays still, not letting Michael budge a millimeter for four solid counts before pulling back for air and letting Michael’s cock bob out of his grasp.

Both their breathing is shallow and fast. Alex nudges Michael’s feet to give him some room. He steps back, helping his jeans down his calves and kicks them somewhere further into the trailer behind him. He feels Alex’s eyes on him all the while. When he looks back up, though, Alex is working off his own jeans and boots before reaching up to his prosthetic. Michael doesn’t miss the quake in his hands as he pulls it and the sleeve off, leaving Alex fully bare before him.

Alex chances a look back at Michael’s face to gauge his reaction and all he sees is lust, want, and a softness behind it all he’s afraid to give a name. Michael steps back into his space and shoves him down onto the bed again before hovering over the length of his with his own naked body. He stops a few inches above him, propped up on his elbows and knee, waiting for Alex to lead the way, which he obliges.

The way Michael’s looking at him like he’s a wonder to behold makes a knot tighten itself around Alex’s throat. He swallows to try and dissipate the feeling. Michael’s eyes follow the movement with a question in them Alex can’t quite decipher. Alex reaches up to brush Michael’s hair away from his forehead and lifts his chin up enough for him to get the idea. Finally, Michael presses himself down onto Alex, settling between his widespread thighs, and kisses him.

As he takes Alex apart all over again with his mouth and tongue, his right hand snakes in between them and down to Alex’s hole. He’s presses his thumb against him with a little pressure, letting Alex acclimate to the feeling. His breath stutters and a low moan rips its way out of him, sounding impatient.

“Guerin, will you please just fuck me already?” he pants out against his lips.

A smile blooms over Michael’s face making it hard to continue kissing him. He lets out a quick laugh and nods his head. In an instant, cool air breezes over Alex’s sweat-shined skin when Michael stretches up to fetch his lube and condoms from the overhead storage. Alex runs a greedy hand down the length of Michael’s chest, across his stomach, and down his shaft. When he lazily pumps his hand down the length a few times, Michael swears at himself as he fumbles for the box.

“Now look who’s being impatient,” Michael chides him.

He sits back on his heels with his loot in hand and bats Alex’s hand away. He pouts at Michael for a second until he hears the _pop_ of the cap and sees him dripping lube onto his fingers. He presses against his hole for the second time, but now he lets one finger slip in to the first knuckle. Alex lets out a puff of air and presses down on him. He’s wants more and _right now_ , but Michael is set on taking his damn time all of a sudden as he watches Alex squirm.

Alex reaches for his own dick and starts to jerk himself off. Michael’s face darkens at the movement and picks up his own pace. He grabs a condom, rips the packaging, and slides it down his length in record time. Alex lets out a satisfied hum as Michael pulls on Alex’s thighs until they’re perpendicular to his body and resting against Michael’s stomach.

Michael runs his hands down from his knees to his hips, turning his head the kiss the faint scar below his right knee. Alex squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. He’d forgotten how fast Michael can switch from lustful to soul-deep caring and it’s threatening to give him whiplash. It’s been...well, far too long since he’s really felt either geared towards him. Alex’s eyes flutter back open when the head of Michael’s cock meets his hole after what has felt like an eternity of waiting.

When he presses inside, something breaks within Michael. He’s been trying to hold back against the floodgates when it comes to Alex--hoping that somehow he could leave this night without his heart filling up with hope for something he doubts Alex will ever want with him again. His heart hurts looking down at the love of his life spread out beneath him, looking up with a glimmer of hope in his own eyes. As he bottoms out, a jolt sparks between the two of them. Alex gasps.

His lets his foot hook around the back on Michael’s neck and shifts his hip so his right leg can wrap around his middle to gain some leverage of his own. When he thrusts back in, Alex moves with him, burying him deeper inside at a slightly better angle. Alex chokes out a moan when Michael hits his prostate. He takes the sound for what it is and rams back into him, hitting home.

Alex tosses a hand up by his head to grip the pillow or anything really to ground himself as Michael pounds into him with an unforgiving rhythm.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” Michael says under his breath like he didn’t really mean to let it slip out.

His eyes rake over Alex spread out beneath him. There’s a flush across his chest and neck that pops up again as a light pink dusting the tops of his cheekbones. He reaches for Alex’s cock and starts stroking him. Not soon after, he’s spilling all over Michael’s hand and his own stomach, biting his lip to stop himself from yelling out.

Michael rocks into him throughout Alex’s high, chasing his own orgasm until he’s spilling into the condom. He can’t help with keening _Alex_ that slips past his lips. The legs holding him in place fall the their respective sides and Michael lets himself slump down on top of Alex, pressing a trail of kisses up his chest until he reaches Alex’s face.

He smiles at him, completely soft and open forgetting all the worry about what comes next and the inevitable heartbreak, yet again. He leans up and meets Alex’s lips with his own. Another jolts shoots through them both. Alex’s eyes open, but everything seems wrong.

The room falls away, being replaced in an instant with the cafeteria at New Roswell High, looking at his younger self eating with Liz and Maria. All the hears in his mind is how beautiful Alex-- _he_ \--is. The perspective shifts and he sees that he was looking at him through Michael’s eyes. Isobel says something, pulling away his attention, but his eyes keep slipping back to stare at him.

The setting shifts again, this time to the music room. Alex is holding Michael’s guitar and laughing. He recognizes that the feelings blooming in his chest aren’t his own. As Michael watches him strum out some song Rosa wouldn’t shut up about, he feels him realize he’s in love with Alex.

He feels another gasp rip out of his body back in the Air Stream, but when the world shifts around him again, he’s in The Wild Pony sitting beside Isobel. “ _Come on, Michael. Is there really nobody in this world that you wouldn’t risk everything to save?_ ” A lump rises in his throat knowing, and sure enough once Isobel blows past him, Michael’s eyes immediately land on him. He feels every ounce of heartache burn through his chest as they look away from each other.

When his world tilts this time, Michael is in full view and he’s back on his bed. He opens his mouth to ask what the hell just happened, but nothing comes out. He doesn’t know how to begin to explain and before he gets the chance to Michael’s kissing him. When their cheeks touch, he can feel the wetness on them. They’re both in tears. Whatever he just went through...something happened to Michael too.

They take a moment to breath each other in and relish in being back in reality with each other. Michael’s hand are skating all across his arms and sides like he can’t believe Alex is really here. Alex winds his hand behind Michael’s neck and rubs small circles in the tight muscles there.

“Was that…” Alex manages to start.

“Real? Yeah, yeah it was,” Michael finishes for him. His voice sounds raw with emotion.

Alex has never seen Michael cry--not after falling at recess in elementary school or when Alex left him behind for the Air Force; he’s always been stilted or angry when sadness or hurt came into the equation, at least from Alex’s perception. Now he’s wondering if that was ever really the case. He reaches a hand between them to brush the tears away from Michael’s eyes and tries not to get lost in how pretty his lashes look with them still clinging there.

“What even was that?” Alex presses on.

Michael’s faces falls. He pulls away from Alex and ties off the condom. When he goes to stand up, Alex reaches out for him with his brows furrowed.

“Let’s get you cleaned up first. Then we can have the interrogation.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! please let me know what you think in the comments. i'd love to talk about this with you! should this just be two chapters: one the smut, the other the talk. or should it be a whole Thing with plot and stuff?? i'm up to write it, i just don't know what you'd like to see!
> 
> malex is killing me with angst and softness all at the same time. come find me on tumblr: _bialiencowboy_


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